The Misadventures of a Speedster and an Archer
by Norah Strike
Summary: Wally and Artemis make life very interesting for the other members of Young Justice and the Justice League. Pure crack fic


Wally was in the kitchen of Mount Justice making himself a super deluxe yummy sandwich that consisted of mayo and horseradish and tons of meat when Artemis walked in. Artemis looked at the sandwich Wally was eating and decided to make a snide comment about it.

"What the hell are you eating, Wally?" Artemis asked, her face showing mock concern.

"I'm eating a Super Deluxe Yummy Sandwich," Wally replied with his mouth full.

"It looks disgusting," Artemis said.

Wally's face fell. He gave Artemis the _'what did you say? You don't know what you're missing in your life' _look. He used his super speed to get into Artemis' face. He took his Super Deluxe Yummy Sandwich and shoved the remainder of it in her mouth. Artemis' eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets as she chewed Wally's Super Deluxe Yummy Sandwich. Wally took a step back when Artemis' expression went blank.

"So. . . "Wally said. "What do you think?"

Artemis went quiet and then her voice bellowed,

"THAT WAS THE MOST AWESOME SANDWICH EVER!"

Wally's face turned up into a grin and he said,

"I knew you would like it."

Artemis nodded her head and then demanded more of Wally's Super Deluxe Yummy Sandwich. So Wally made her another Super Deluxe Yummy Sandwich. Artemis ate the epic sandwich with much gusto. When she was finished eating it, Wally asked her,

"So what do you want to do know?"

Artemis pondered on this thought. What to do. . . What to do. . . What to do. . . Finally she thought of an idea!

"Hey, want to make Superboy pissed?"

Wally's face curled up into a mischevious smile.

"I think that's a GREAT idea, Artemis."

So Wally and Artemis ventured out of the kitchen to go find Superboy.

"Where do you think he is?" Artemis asked.

Wally shrugged. "Probably making out with Miss Martian."

Artemis snapped her fingers. "Right."

As they walked down the hallway, Wally and Artemis started a conversation about unicorns and vampires.

"So you're telling me if you had a pet unicorn you would name it Stabby?" Artemis asked.

Wally replied in a dead serious tone,

"Yes. Yes I would."

"Why?"

"So Stabby would stab me when Batman started talking."

"Come on, Batman isn't that bad," Artemis said.

"Ehhh. . . So what were you saying about the commonalities of vampires and unicorns?"

"Well. . . Unicorns and vampires both sparkle."

"LIES!" Wally erupted in Artemis' face.

"How? Prove it."

"Two words: Vampire Diaries. Their vampires don't sparkle."

"Touche."

"And my pet unicorn Stabby, wouldn't sparkle. He would SHINE!"

Five minutes later Artemis and Wally found Superboy near the training area. But he was not with making out with Miss Martian as Artemis and Wally had assumed. Superboy was dancing to "Gangdum Style".

"Whoa," Wally whispered. "Was not expecting this."

"HEEEYYYYYYYY SEEEEEEXXXXXXYYYYYY LAAAAAAAAADDDDDYYYYY!" Psy's recorded voice sang out.

Superboy was imitating Psy's dance moves perfectly. Every last step.

"Someone's been living on YouTube," Artemis muttered.

"Ummmm. . . should we say something?"

"Naaahhhhh. . . Let's just enjoy the show."

So Wally and Artemis watched Superboy Gangdum Style until the song was over. They were about to announce their presence in the room when Superboy replayed the song. This time he was singing AND dancing.

"HEEEEEEYYYYYYY SSEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXYYYYYY LAAAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYY!" Superboy sang out.

"Dude this is just getting embarrassing," Wally said.

Artemis nodded in agreement. To get Superboy's attention, Artemis had shot one of her arrows at Superboy's laptop. The arrow cracked through the laptop. Immediately the room went silent. Superboy stopped singing. He stopped dancing. He didn't move a muscle. He just stared at his broken laptop with the arrow pierced through the screen. He dropped to his knees and then he let out an epic "NOOOOOO!" that would make Darth Vader proud. Superboy whirled around to face Artemis and Wally.

"You. . . broke. . . my. . . laptop. . . " Superboy said in a cracked voice.

"You mad, Bro?" Wally asked.

"Oh boy. . . "Artemis muttered.

"ALL OF MY VIDEOS OF FLUFFY KITTENS WERE ON THAT LAPTOP!" Superboy bellowed.

Wally tucked in his lip nervously and then he pointed his finger at Artemis,

"She did it!"

Artemis punched Wally hard on his arm. "WALLY!"

"ARTEMIS!" Superboy bellowed.

"SUPERBOY!" Artemis bellowed back.

"ARTEMIS!" Wally bellowed.

Then Nightwing walked in.

"Superboy?" Nightwing said in confusion.

"NIGHTWING!" bellowed Superboy.

"SUPERBOY!" bellowed Artemis.

"ARTEMIS!" bellowed Nightwing.

"WAAAAALLLLLLLYYYYY!" Wally bellowed as he spread out his arms with a stupid grin on his face.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Nightwing bellowed.

"THEY BROKE MY LAPTOP!" Superboy bellowed his reply at Nightwing.

Nightwing gave the look of horror at Artemis and Wally. "Get out!" He yelled at Artemis and Wally.

"Fine," Artemis snapped. Wally followed her out of the training room.

"You know what I could go for right now?" Wally said as they headed towards the kitchen again.

"What? A smack in the face?" Artemis said.

"No. . . A twinkie!" Wally exclaimed. He started humming to himself: "Twinkie. . . Twinkie. . . Twinkie. . . "

Artemis let Wally sing about Twinkies until they were a foot away from the kitchen when she broke the heartbreaking news to Wally,

"But they don't make Twinkies anymore."

"NOOOOOOOO!"


End file.
